The trouble with life is that it’s not cosy enough. In the baby-part of ourselves, which every one of us still has, we all need to be hugged and cuddled, deliciously, sweetly, curled up with and kissed, to be lovingly and tenderly held.
Cuddling is nurturing of the body and the spirit and we all profoundly need it. To be touched and held, to have our skin- the miraculous, fine, thin, silken wrapper of our being – caressed, addressed, remembered and cherished, is one of the greatest human requirements.
It’s a leftover need from childhood, when most of us didn’t get cuddled enough, didn’t get held, or kissed, or lovingly touched, or dearly nestled nearly enough. We wanted to lie up cosy, safe and sweet near our mother’s heart, to be tossed in the air in our father’s strong arms, but it didn’t happen quite often enough. We didn’t get to sit on quite enough laps, didn’t get our back scratched, or tummies rubbed, our feet tickled, our curls brushed, or the backs of our necks kissed nearly enough.
That’s why, now, we need to cuddle up, why we long to feel the gigantic embrace that grown-up cuddling is. We want to feel protected and safe. We want to feel nurtured and loved. We want to feel there’s more to life than just our chores and our work. We want to believe that having a body in a world full of bodies isn’t a sad, lonely joke. We need to be cuddled so much, in fact, that if we’re not, our hearts cry out- with tears, with overeating and alcohol, with the over-watching of television, with anxiety and depression. The truth is that we’re all – everyone of us – touched starved human beings. Cuddling, therefore, being cosily – on the couch, in the bed, on the sidewalk, in the kitchen, in the car and at the beach, in elevators and airplanes, in restaurants and subways, during the credits at the movies – is an unadulterated pleasure that fills a giant human need.
Cuddling isn’t a stand-in for any other thing – like sex, or a great conversation, or a night out on the town, or a trip to the lake, or your favourite football game. Cuddling is wonderful, helpful, healing, delicious, delightful, soothing, yummy, cuddly and scrumptious all be itself. SO CUDDLE UP
From “A Lifetime of Love” Daphne Rose Kingma