How to stay in love and keep that loving feeling alive in your relationship

A relationship could be likened to a garden. A garden that is left
unattended will grow weeds which could choke out the beautiful plants that
you want to be seen. A great relationship requires constant attending to
just like a garden and sometimes there needs to be some pruning back even
of the plants that you want to keep, so they stay in shape and grow how you
want them to.

In the early stages of an intimate love relationship, this is where you
will see the ‘tone’ play out, which usually sets it for your entire
relationship. To help you keep your relationship alive and healthy, here
are some conversations starters to help keep your relationship growing in
love, no matter how long you have been together.

Share your secrets. The more you can talk about the things that are most
important to you, you create a closer bond with your partner. Imagine your
partner telling you what is close to their heart… you can’t help feel
‘warmer’ towards them. True?

Likewise, when you share your inner most thoughts and feelings, it puts you
in a vulnerable position, and yes it can be scary, but the payoff can be
highly rewarding. Here’s something to try. Make a date to get together, to
just talk. For example, go on a picnic so you can both be out of the house
with no distractions and have the intention of just having a great

Talk about sex. Instead of going with the usual physical routine… try the
idea of just talking about sex. What you like, and don’t like. How you
would like to be touched, or not touched. Show your partner what you mean.
Create a cosy space, by lighting a candle or mood lighting and take your
partner on a guided tour of your body. This is not a time to get ‘turned
on’, but rather keep it to a conversation. You may be surprised at what you
learn and how fun this can be.

Have a ‘rant’ about things that bother you. This may sound a little counter
intuitive but having a ‘rant’ can be very therapeutic. How you do this?
Firstly, let your partner know you are going to have a ‘rant’. This means
you will speak for five or ten minutes and just get it all off your chest.
Say whatever you want to say, but be careful not to blame your partner, or
you may get them off-side and reactive. When you have let it all out, you
will be surprised how releasing this can be. Maybe your partner might like
to have a ‘rant’ too.

Think about what defines your relationship. Take some time to think about, what does your
ideal relationship look like. Write it down and share it with your partner.
What goals and aspirations do you have? What makes you unique as a couple.
Talk about your differences. Acceptance of your partner can be challenging.
Do you just see what you want to see in your partner? Sharing your views,
values, opinions honestly can bring more trust and appreciation into your
relationship, because you will have more understanding between you and your

Taking time to just talk and communicate about what’s on your mind, will do
wonders for your relationship. Maybe you can come up with your own
questions or topics. Give it a go and reap the rewards.

Love Life Matters offers Relationship Counselling on the Gold Coast and Tweed Heads.