Have you ever stopped to think about what ‘keeps a relationship together for many years’?
Well the weird thing is, after asking people who have been in a relationship/marriage for over 20 years this very question, the response is usually the same…
And that is, most people can never actually answer the question!
So how do you get to that destination in life known as ‘a long lasting and blissfully happy relationship’?
If you can’t define it… how do you know if you have it?
The key here is to know the difference between ‘long lasting’ and ‘blissfully happy’.
Many people mistakenly believe a great relationship is defined by the length of time it lasts.
Now this is an interesting thing, right?
Let’s look at a metaphor
Imagine someone asked you, “Go ahead and plug in some coordinates into your GPS.” Naturally you would reply with, “Where are we going?”
Then if the reply is, “I don’t know, but plug it in. Plug in the coordinates”, your response would again be, “Well… where are we going?”
Imagine then, if you were told again “I don’t know but just plug it in and let’s start driving,” you would have to think that there’s something wrong with the person asking you. How can you plug coordinates into a GPS if you don’t even know where you’re going and then straight away, you want to start driving?
There are people out there that are trying to get to a destination called “blissfully happy relationship” and they don’t even know how to get there. They don’t know what it looks like, feels like or even how to start.
Now, this may not seem like a big thing… but it is a BIG thing.
If you wish to achieve a long lasting and healthily happy relationship, but don’t know what that is, it dramatically affects the behaviours and actions you take in the here and now.
Defining The Relationship, You Desire
Before I met my husband, I had a couple of sessions with a respected mentor/coach of mine, and he asked me to define what my ideal relationship would be like. I thought, no one’s ever asked me to me to do this, in this way before. No one’s ever helped me to write down exactly what I wanted in a relationship.
So, I with the help of my mentor, I wrote out what a loving and happy relationship would look like to me… and how I would know when I found that relationship. I worked out to have the marriage I wanted, I would feel accepted and treated with respect by my partner. I imagined that the pinnacle of a blissful and connected relationship would be being able to communicate with ease and total openness and honesty, without feeling afraid to share my deep innermost feelings.
I then ‘let go’ of any thought of how my dream man would manifest into my life. Not long after, only a few months in fact, I met a wonderful man. I can honestly say that the relationship that I have with him, far exceeds what I imagined I could have.
Write Your Ideal Relationship
Take some time today to just write down; what does your ideal relationship or marriage mean to you?
You may currently be in a relationship or looking to meet someone. It doesn’t matter, because from today things can change… but first you must decide.
Start a piece of paper and just write: the meaning of your ideal relationship is? Just let it all flow. Get it really clear inside your mind.
For me, it was just two things; knowing how to be true and honest with myself and meeting someone who would treat me with respect.
I don’t know what it is for you but once you define it and get it clear, try to get it down into one sentence.
If you’ve enjoyed this blog, share it with your friends and family because they could absolutely benefit from knowing what their definition of a successful relationship is. Remember once you punch in the coordinates into that GPS and you know exactly where you’re going, the entire journey becomes much easier.