Self-esteem is how you feel and think about yourself. To understand exactly
what self-esteem means, in this article we will look at the contrast of
‘low’ and ‘healthy’ self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is characterised by:

  • Being very critical of self
  • Believe they don’t have any valuable qualities
  • See others as being superior, and self as inferior or visa-versa
  • Have negative and critical self-talk (eg. I am stupid
  • Don’t see themselves as being loveable
  • Can’t receive a compliment and shrug it off
  • Generally feel dis-satisfied with life and self
  • Blame self for things going wrong (or blame others)

From a young age I suffered from low-self-esteem. I know this because I was
the kid that got picked on and bullied. I didn’t realise it at the time,
that there was something I was doing to attract those bullies. Actually ,it
was more about how I was feeling about myself.

I had this underlying feeling of myself to be lower than others, and others
were better than me. All through school, I was the ‘shadow’ of one or two
particular friends. Where-ever they went, I went. I followed them around
the school yard, and when they conversed with other kids, I stood behind
them, not saying too much.

I also remember grizzling, so much so, that my parents nick-named me

I guess this doesn’t paint a great picture of younger myself, but I realise
this is where I came from, and I am grateful for this journey, as what it
has taught me is strength. I wore the badge of ‘shy’ and believed myself to
be so, well into adulthood, when I realised that this was just a story or
label that I was hiding behind, so I could keep the excuses I kept telling
myself, so I could stay playing a small in life.

I have a question for you… where do you fit on the self-esteem scale?
Healthy self-esteem does not mean ‘ego’ or even ‘confidence’. Here are some
ways to combat low-self esteem.

To create healthy self-esteem:

  • Become aware or conscious of negative thoughts
  • Have a daily practice of ‘positive feelings’
  • Read personal development/mindset books
  • Learn self-love techniques
  • Be around people who lift you up and inspire you
  • Focus and have gratitude on the things you are good at

To have a great relationship, you need a certain amount of healthy
self-esteem and believe you are lovable and deserving. If your relationship
is argumentative and/or abusive, then chances are both yours and your
partners self-esteem is low.

If you would like help with self-esteem issues with yourself, or for your
relationship, then contact Love Life Matters today.

Article written by Foxxy