Self-esteem is how you feel and think about yourself. To understand exactly
what self-esteem means, in this article we will look at the contrast of
‘low’ and ‘healthy’ self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is characterised by:
- Being very critical of self
- Believe they don’t have any valuable qualities
- See others as being superior, and self as inferior or visa-versa
- Have negative and critical self-talk (eg. I am stupid
- Don’t see themselves as being loveable
- Can’t receive a compliment and shrug it off
- Generally feel dis-satisfied with life and self
- Blame self for things going wrong (or blame others)
From a young age I suffered from low-self-esteem. I know this because I was
the kid that got picked on and bullied. I didn’t realise it at the time,
that there was something I was doing to attract those bullies. Actually ,it
was more about how I was feeling about myself.
I had this underlying feeling of myself to be lower than others, and others
were better than me. All through school, I was the ‘shadow’ of one or two
particular friends. Where-ever they went, I went. I followed them around
the school yard, and when they conversed with other kids, I stood behind
them, not saying too much.
I also remember grizzling, so much so, that my parents nick-named me
I guess this doesn’t paint a great picture of younger myself, but I realise
this is where I came from, and I am grateful for this journey, as what it
has taught me is strength. I wore the badge of ‘shy’ and believed myself to
be so, well into adulthood, when I realised that this was just a story or
label that I was hiding behind, so I could keep the excuses I kept telling
myself, so I could stay playing a small in life.
I have a question for you… where do you fit on the self-esteem scale?
Healthy self-esteem does not mean ‘ego’ or even ‘confidence’. Here are some
ways to combat low-self esteem.
To create healthy self-esteem:
- Become aware or conscious of negative thoughts
- Have a daily practice of ‘positive feelings’
- Read personal development/mindset books
- Learn self-love techniques
- Be around people who lift you up and inspire you
- Focus and have gratitude on the things you are good at
To have a great relationship, you need a certain amount of healthy
self-esteem and believe you are lovable and deserving. If your relationship
is argumentative and/or abusive, then chances are both yours and your
partners self-esteem is low.
If you would like help with self-esteem issues with yourself, or for your
relationship, then contact Love Life Matters today.
Article written by Foxxy